The Shatter Dress

Once upon a full moonlit October night in Stockholm I happened to meet a very nice boy from New York. It turned out he is an artist, and since I love art I of course had to do some researching. Found his art page easily on the net. I simply had to google his name - Marc Boutges - and there it was! Do I have to say I liked his art?! It was especially one of his works that caught my eye. It is called "Shatter 1", and it was almost scary to see how well it reflected my mental state for the last 6,5 years, after I lost the love of my life - dancing - and dealing with the pain demon that's been living in my body ever since (he's not that mean anymore though).

Shatter 1

I said to Marc I wished I could print this painting on fabric and make a dress out of it, so I could wear this feeling on the outside, instead of on the inside. He thought it was a good idea, and sent me part of this work he had done in the 3D program Maya. It was the white edged shards you can see against the black background.

When I received this file I sent it to Spoonflower, who had it digitally printed on fabric for me. The only color they had problems printing was black. It becomes charcoal grey on the fabric. I chose a cotton sateen which has a bit of a shiny finnish, and when I received the fabric I was actually glad it wasn't completely black. It looks very elegant with the slightly shiny dark grey. The pattern I used was one from Simplicity, from the 50s. I was crawling around on the floor for quite some time, trying to get the shatters placed right on the different pieces, but in the end it turned out quite well. If I may say so myself. And with a black fluffy petticoat from Bettie Page Clothing, to give it some volume, I now have a dress I really love - not just because it's a pretty dress, but also for how it came to be and the meaning it has for me.

My photographing sister, Christine Engström, did a photo shoot with me wearing the dress. For this I put on my point shoes for the first time in six years! I felt a bit like Bambi on ice at first, but it was a wonderful feeling being up there again!