Funny Vintage Ads

I have done a few posts with funny vintage ads before, and since you all seemed pretty amused by these posts, here is one more! These are just so wrong you can't help but laugh...

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Funny Vintage Ads

Since it seems like people - me included - can't get enough of funny vintage ads, here are a few more!

How many people would buy this product today? My guess is no one of you raised your hand...

"Sorry, but I can't come to work today. I have to stay home and wash my hair..."

Mmmmm...Kinky...

Ooooo, even the Royalty of Europe wear them!

How romantic! They gave each other cigarets for Christmas! "This Christmas - don't miss the fun of smoking!"

And look how happy he is with his new train and a cigarette! The wife looks very pleased too...

And this is just amazing! Who knew that Pall Malls guard against throat-scratch?! So if your throats feel a bit itchy, start smoking!

These ones seem to be even better for your health though...

Yep, it's true! Back in the good old days you could just take a shower to lose weight!

So if you don't want the "Amazing Mystery Button", you can go for the "Super Mystery Button"! Choices, choices...

"No honey, I'm not drinking beer - again...I'm just having a liquid sandwich"...

"Use Dalley's Magical Pain Extractor - The Great Family Ointment." HA! I knew it! Champagne does take away pain - and other ailments!

"A good smoking leaf"?...Gee, I wonder why the smoker believes his head has grown a bit?...

Not sure if I would by medicine from a doctor named "Coffin"...

And before we go to bed, let's all have a Quaalude or two. The morning after we will feel so good!!!

Cheers!!!

And that rounds off this episode of "Funny Vintage Ads". Now I'm going to go smoke and drink, and do some drugs. I'm sure I'll feel pleasantly invigorated tomorrow!

All pictures from Retronaut.com

Funny Vintage Ads

I haven't done any posts with funny vintage ads in a long tie now, so here is one - and another one is on its way!

Giddy up daddy! Ehm...

I wonder if they have one of these things for screaming children too?...

Yep, that's hot...

..."for every man to boast of his conquests"..."and one of the nicest qualities is that they don't talk back!"..."give astonishing realism to these rare and unique Trophies." Hehe...

Oh, how horrible!!! If he hadn't had a lighter she wouldn't have been able to light her cigarette - since the bad baby swallowed the matches!...

"Imagine having that sensual cold weather look all the time." Wow! That is exactly how I would like to walk around all day long - with perky nipples pointing out the way before me!

Ok. That just looks freaky...

That's right! Wrap your kids in plastic!

I read the text. And then I read it again. What???

A Christmas wishing list full of guns. Awww....

"While you're making everybody happy...do a good job and include yourself!" Am I the only one who get the feeling they want someone really depressed to buy a gun and blow their brains out?!

All pictures from Retronaut!

Funny ads

And now we pause for some commercials. It's time for some more funny vintage ads! You can see the former posts on this subject here and here.

For all the vampires out there...

...And a little something for those of you who worship the horned one! "...instant-acting 666 - start getting blessed relief...". Hm...

I guess this pill might work for both of the previous mentioned types of clients...

I don't know about you, but I know at least I would get a bit suspicious about a vibrator that is supposed to be able to make my hair soft and glossy...

"Super Shaper Buns Briefs is available with a snap-in fly front endowment pad...Specially designed and contoured to show off your manhood in the most exciting detail.". 

There is padding for everyone!!!

Good tips for anyone thinking about a singing career - start smoking!..

But if you don't like cigarets I guess there's always the good old cocaine! I don't speak Spanish, but I do understand it says in this ad that cocaine cures throat problems, just like the Lucky Strikes above! Now I understand why so many rock stars do so much drugs - it's to keep their voices in shape of course!

It also cures toothache! What a miracle medicine! Why have I never tried this?!...

Cigarets and cocaine won't protect you against everything though! A good sun shield might be good to invest in too!

"Laboratory tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during that early formative period have a much higher chance of gaining acceptance and "fitting in" during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So do yourself a favor. Do your child a favour. Start them on a strict regimen of sodas and other sugary carbonated beverages right now, for a lifetime of guaranteed happiness.". This must be why I was the outsider in school - my parents didn't put me on the soda-regiment when I was a baby! I guess I might as well forget about that "lifetime of guaranteed happiness" too then...

Douching isn't anything we do here in Sweden. In fact, most women in this country doesn't even know what this is. But for you who like going through this procedure - I hope you use "Lysol". Otherwise your stench might make your husbands leave you...

...and start playing video games all to himself!

See what I mean?...